Emma's Joke
by SwanQueenUK
Summary: One-shot. SwanQueen fun based on a prompt from the 400th reviewer of Troubled Teachers. Wishful thinking future SwanQueen in Storybrooke having a little fun ... all will be revealed inside!
A/N: this is a one shot for the 400th reviewer of my AU fic, Troubled Teachers, submitted by 1991. Prompt will be revealed at the end.

* * *

Emma yawned and put her feet up on the dashboard before taking another bite of her bear claw. She glanced at her phone and saw she had just thirty minutes left of her patrol. She hated this part of her job. Sitting on the side of the road waiting for someone to do something illegal. It rarely happened but the problem was if the Sheriff station didn't conduct regular, random highway patrols, the residents of Storybrooke did tend to start pushing the legal boundaries. And after Leroy wrapped his truck around a tree the year before with a blood alcohol content of 0.22, Emma and David had stepped up their game.

Licking the sugar off her fingertips, Emma reached over and turned the radio up when an old AC/DC song came on. She sang along for a while, tapping her palm on the steering wheel as she watched the road before her.

Deciding she had never been this bored in her life, Emma picked up her phone and began to play Angry Birds, the latest level of which she had been stuck on for days. She glanced up every few seconds but the road, which ran through the forest around the outskirts of the town, remained empty. Until …

Emma grinned when she recognised the black Mercedes driving gracefully towards her around the bend. As it passed, Emma bit her lip, considering the consequences of her actions.

"Screw it," she muttered, shifting the car into drive and edging out onto the road.

The lights flashed through the shadowy road, the trees eclipsing most of the summer sun and Regina looked at once into her rear view mirror when red and blue caught her eye. She frowned but indicated at once when the short, abrupt siren wailed. Pulling over, she put on the handbrake and wound down her window, waiting.

"Good afternoon, Madam Mayor," Emma said as she sauntered up to the side of Regina's car, her thumbs hooked into the waistband of her slacks.

"Good afternoon, Sheriff," Regina replied. "Is there a problem? I'm rather late for a meeting."

"There is indeed a problem," Emma nodded. "It appears your tags have expired. I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you a ticket."

"Don't be ridiculous, Emma," Regina scoffed. "I told you I was going this afternoon to the DMV to pick up the paperwork."

"But they're expired now, Madam Mayor," Emma said, leaning nonchalantly against the edge of the doorframe. "And I'm sorry to tell you that driving this car is now illegal."

Regina frowned. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Emma replied. "I am merely doing my job and I'm afraid the letter of the law extends even to our Mayor in Storybrooke."

"Emma, you know why I'm late collecting the new tags," Regina huffed, folding her arms. "I told you last night that when I was on my way to get them yesterday, the twins' school phoned and asked me to pick them up because they were both feeling ill. You were out on patrol, again, so I did it."

"I'm sorry but we cannot accept any excuses as to why the law has not been followed," Emma said, trying to hide her grin at how irritated Regina was getting. "If you could please step out of your car and I will write you a ticket for the offence."

"You're kidding, right?" Regina said, narrowing her eyes and the cocky blonde.

"Please step out of the vehicle, Ma'am."

"Ma'am?" Regina said. "Emma, what the hell is going on?"

"Get out now please or I will have to arrest you."

Regina opened her mouth but thought better of it. She wrenched open the door and stepped out, her heels clacking noisily on the tarmac.

"Wait here," Emma said, before walking back down the road towards the patrol car.

Regina folded her arms again and leaned against the car, watching the blonde swagger away from her. She glanced at her watch and saw that she had just fifteen minutes to get back to the town hall for her meeting.

"Emma, you're going to make me late," she said when the Sheriff finally returned.

"And you're breaking the law," Emma replied.

"Only because you couldn't pick up the tags after your shift. This is your car too remember? Are you going to write a ticket for yourself?"

"Don't be silly, Madam Mayor," Emma replied. "I'm not the one driving the vehicle, am I?"

Regina glowered.

"Licence and registration please."

Regina ducked back inside the car and Emma stood admiring the way the pencil skirt strained over the tight ass before her. Regina rummaged around, tossing out several candy wrappers and a browned banana before she managed to find the documents. As she pulled back from inside the car, she frowned.

"Emma, what's this?"

The blonde just smiled as she watched Regina glance over the documents clipped to the registration forms.

"You … you picked them up for me?"

"I did," Emma nodded with a smile.

"But why didn't you tell me?" Regina said, her voice rising. "And why the hell did you just pull me over and treat me like a common criminal if the new tag documents have been sat in my car all along."

"Oh come on, Regina, it was a joke!" Emma said, reaching forwards and placing her hands on Regina's shoulders.

"It wasn't funny," Regina said, twisting out of Emma's reach.

"I … I'm sorry," Emma said, her hands falling to her side. "I was bored sitting out here for hours and I just wanted to have some fun when I saw you drive by."

"Fun? I'm late for a meeting with our real estate agent now, Emma," Regina snapped. "What the hell did you do that for?"

"It was a joke," Emma repeated. "A bad one maybe, but it wasn't meant to annoy you."

"I'm the Mayor of this town, Emma. I'm married to the Sheriff. I've never once been in trouble with the law and I never intend to be. This might have been a joke but it was in very poor taste." Regina's cheeks were reddening as she stood, hands on hips, facing Emma.

"Babe, I'm sorry," Emma said, taking a tentative step towards the angry woman. "What can I do to make it up for you."

"Well, for starters, you can promise never to do anything so stupid again." Emma nodded furiously. "And the rest of your apology is going to take place tonight after the twins have gone to bed."

Emma's eyes lit up at once and she rushed towards Regina, kissing her hard and wrapping her arms around the slender body. Regina kissed her back. She couldn't help it. She had never been able to resist the lips of Emma Swan-Mills.

"You're picking the twins up from school, right?" Regina said when they broke apart.

"Right," Emma nodded. "And I'll cook dinner too. Your favourite. What time will this meeting of yours be finished?"

"We have to go over the plans for the stable yard restoration in full so that will take about an hour I think. Then if it's all approved I'll be signing the paperwork today."

"Great," Emma grinned. "So I'll see you about six?"

"Yes," Regina nodded. "And don't forget that Lyra has her piano lesson tonight. Granny is coming at five rather than five thirty so we'll be eating a little later."

"I know, I know," Emma nodded. "Now you'd better get going. You don't want to be later than you already are for this meeting."

Regina smacked Emma lightly on the arm and the blonde let go of her wife.

"I love you," Emma said as Regina climbed back into her car.

"And I hate you sometimes," Regina replied. "But I love you more."

Emma waved as the Mercedes pulled away before glancing down at her watch.

"Shit," she muttered, jogging back to the patrol car and jumping in. At this rate she was going to be late to pick up their two daughters. And she was already in the dog house. Luckily, she didn't mind apologising to Regina late into the night using her fingers, tongue and lips as moans and cries echoed off their bedroom walls.

* * *

Prompt (which I changed very slightly): I want Emma to mess with Regina! Don't care if it's AU or whatever. Emma should pull Regina over and start apologizing, then tell her that her tag is missing from the back of her car.

I want Regina to go crazy and start freaking out. And wondering who would do this. But I don't want her to actually see that the tag is there.

I want Emma to REGRET trying to play a harmless prank on Regina...


End file.
